November 25, 2012
Horacio Genis
133 Marin St
Watsonville CA 95076
Mr. Vicente Martinez:
Machismo (or being macho)
is one aspect of Latino culture that makes it different from other cultures
around the world. Different cultures see machismo in different ways, and as
time passes a new way of machismo or shift of power has been happening.
Machismo has different faces, and it can be expressed in different ways. It can
be used in a good or a bad way. The good way of machismo is when a man is
providing for his family. The bad form of machismo is when a man is abusive to
his family, especially to his wife. As men move from one country to a different
country with a different cultures and different societies, these men have the
necessity of changing to a different form of machismo. Now a new form of
machismo is developed in the new country and machismo takes a different role. This
new type of machismo, women are more equal at home and work, and forcing men to
see themselves equal as women.
Even though I have been
living for a few years with you and my sister (your wife) I have seen the good
of macho. You are the macho that does the right thing for his family and shows
that he cares for them. I have seen that you don’t feel bigger than your wife
our use that aggressiveness to show your toughness. On your day off, I have
seen that you do laundry and cook because your wife gets tired from work. I
have seen also that you do the grocery shopping sometime. You are presenting
the good face of machismo and doing what many machos would not do , and
might think what you do is wrong.
The article, “The Latin
American Family: Families vs. Machismo” by Bron B, Ingoldsby,explains
the different characteristic of Machismo. Ingoldsby believes that the fist
characteristic of machismo is aggressiveness. In order for a male to be
considered a real machista man, he must show his masculinity, strength, and
physical power. The macho man also has to make verbal and physical abuse to
women and challenge men with fists or weapons. Ingoldsby believes that the
second characteristic is “hypersexuality”. They scoffed at impotent and
homosexual men. The cultural goal of machismo is to conquest women and the
more, the better. Ingoldsby writes, “To take advantage of young woman sexually
is cause of pride and prestige, not blame. In fact, some men will commit
adultery just to prove to themselves that they can do it”(Ingoldsby). This
shows that these men do not really have feelings towards women or care about
what they think. They only see women as objects with no feelings. They do must
of the stuff just to prove to other men how masculine and tough they are. They
see their actions they do as things that will improve their status or are a
trophy. It is sad to hear the way some of them treat women.
Machismo in some Latin
American countries is the main barrier for family planning for example Mexico.
In the article “Machismo Main Hindrance to Family Planning in Mexico” (MMFPM),
explains that most Mexican men not only avoid using contraceptives, but they
also prohibit their wives from using any kind of birth control. According to
the article the article these men believe that if they use contraceptives it
could diminish their manhood, or they can cause infidelity, a consequence of
men not letting their wives use birth control or use the condoms themselves.
Medical officials believe, as many as 60 percent of the women that go to
receive birth control do it without the husband’s consent. The article goes on
to state “… and health workers say that women who are found to be practicing
birth control surreptitiously often face emotional and even physically abuse
from their husbands(MMFPM). This shows that macho men would do anything to keep
their manhood strong, anything to keep what is theirs safe or protect their
family. It is clear that machismo plays a big role, in many Latin America countries
which contributes to the population growing.
I believe that there are
many ways to express machismo. There are people who don’t basically use
physical aggressiveness to express their masculinity. Some people just show
their masculinity verbally. These machos do not beat up their wives, but they
impose many limits to their wives all the time. They only want the women to
stay at home to cook, clean, and they do not permit their wives to go out of
the house. They make women take care of the kids because they believe it is the
women’s job. Some men are so jealous, and they believe that if they let them go
out and look for a real job, other men will talk to them and their wives will
cheat on them. I believe a perfect example is your brother–in-law. Your sister
and brother-in-law have been together seventeen, and ever since they got
together he has not let her work at a real job. He also does not let her or
want to teach her how to drive a car. In the morning I’ve seen her at 5:00
in the morning preparing food for his work. I think that when he gets up,
he only gets his lunch and leaves. Later in the afternoon when he gets back
home from work he expects to find hot food and the laundry to be done. I have
heard your wife and sister comment that he does not let her work because he
thinks she is going to talk to other man out there. I have never seen him do
laundry, like you. Like him, many other men still believe that the woman should
only stay at home and do everything for the man. I think that they still think
as if they were back in their native country or think like in the old times.
America has different
types of machismo and different men decide how to prove they masculinity to
other man or their own sons. The article, “Bros Before Hoes” by Michael Kimmel,
explains who is considered to be a real man. He describes a set of rules that a
guy must follow in order to be considered as a real man. Guys have to follow
these rules and be tough to prove their masculinity to other men. There are certain
boundaries that guys must not cross or they will be considered feminine. Kimmel
believes that everything is psychologically developed in this these young
teenagers and young adults at a young age by their father or other men in their
lives. Kimmel writes:
As the barber prepared the boy’s hair for the
treatment, using, apparently some heat and some painful burning chemicals, the
boy began to cry. The barber turned to the boy’s father and pronounced. “This
boy is wimp!” he went on, “This has been spending too much time with his mama!
Man, you need to put your toot down. You have to get this boy away from his
mother!”(615)
This shows how America
fathers not necessarily use aggressiveness to show their masculinity and this
is how most of the men are thought since they are really young to start like
real man. Fathers or other people say that little kids should not spend time
with their mothers so they will become real men. After my grandfather died I,
didn’t really grow up with a father or have a model to follow.
After my sixth birthday,
I remember my grandfather died. From then on I would not have a father or man
to follow as a model. Growing up with a single mother was kind of difficult
because there are moments when you feel like you can not tell a woman or talk
about thing that u must learn from a man and only man can teach you. In all of
my Mexican friends that grow up with a father, I see that they have a different
personality as me. I also have notice that most of my friends have a really
different perspective about women. For example they call girls sometimes
bitches or they talk about women only when they talk about sex. As I was
growing with a single mother, I never heard anyone around me say the words
“bitch”, “hoe”, or “slut”. For example I believe that people developed an attitude
base on what they learn from their fathers. I believe that if I would
have grown up with a father, I would have a different personality, and maybe I
would be an aggressive macho because that is how most people are, where I came
from. I also think that I would even dress up different and maybe talk
differently, and gave a differently, perspective about the world in general.
As Latino males with
machista immigrate to The United States, they find the new American society
challenging. The National Compadre Network takes a hands-on looks at a key
element of Latino cultural identity. The National Compadre Network (NCN)
focuses on helping men with a “machista” problem who are willing to change for
the better, for their children and wives. The NCN is trying to help pass on the
message to all who will listen. David Aballos believes “How Latinos have been
traditionally taught to relate to themselves, their family and community is
different from the wider America society that they now see themselves ascending
into”(CNC 6). I believe that most of the adults males who move from Mexico have
a harder time assimilating in to the new culture in The United States because
of their machista identity. At the end of the day the with the help of the CNC
they recognize their mistakes and do right by their wives, children, and
companions. They learn to be better fathers and husbands. These males become
much more in touch with their families.
The Article, The
Death of Macho by Reihan Salam, explains how in different cultures women
are becoming more equal to men much faster than in other cultures. Salam
explains that the economic collapse was caused by the failure of men. As a
result of the economic collapse a shift of power has been happening. Women and
men have becoming more equal at home and work. As a result women in some
countries in Europe, notably Iceland have taken the initiative to take control
of their country. Men will only have the option to assimilate or resistance.
President Barack Obama believes “Women are just as likely to be the primary
bread earner, if not more likely, than men are today” (Salam 632). Power
shifting can benefit both men and women. Women having real jobs will give them
better chances to provide more for their families. Men helping at home will
make it easier for the women with the house responsibilities.
Machismo exists in every
culture, but it is seen different, and or acted out differently. I believe our culture
is the one only one when aggressiveness is one of the main faces of Machismo.
Other people use different ways of showing their masculinity but all must show
it in some way. In some cases men have to change their macho way because of the
new culture that they are introduced to, for the betterment or their families.
Sincerely,
Vicente Martinez
133 Marin St
Watsonville CA 95076
